Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize