Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The feeling are messing with the penis
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
