Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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