I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
