He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
