maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
