she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize