areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
