and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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