I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
