quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize