I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
