ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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