There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize