Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
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I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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