chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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