I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's great music for shaving your balls
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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