Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
