I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you didnt know i had herpes?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
