This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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