We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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