If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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