I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
