We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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