he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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