What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
