she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
