"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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