Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
