i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
