I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize