He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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