i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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