Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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