I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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