I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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