he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
