Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
