ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
