Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
