Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
