Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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