Barsexuality is the new black.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
