Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
