we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
