you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
