end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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