If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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