i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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