why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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