Can i not drive my cunt home
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
