Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
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Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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