# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
