sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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