He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
God I need to hump something, right now.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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