So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My bed is full of blood and feathers
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
