i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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