my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
