Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
