The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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