I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
