He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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