just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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