I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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