I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
